After being instrumental in appointing Big Ron Atkinson first time around, Dave Richards became quite a popular ‘man of the people’ Chairman. That soon evaporated. Mr Richards was appointed Chair of the Premier League. On the day Wednesday were relegated from the Premiership, Dave Richards was watching Man U to whom he awarded the Premier League winner’s cup at the end of the game. Here two of our younger readers prove that satire is often a harder stick than anger. The ‘long dark oak table’ was the wotmt metaphor for the Boardroom. It became a well used phrase, similar to Floyd’s ‘hold on to the cold steel rail’.
For a good six hours today I suspended myself, attached to a wire, from a large blue girder from the stand known as North.
REASON; TO GET TO KNOW GREATER KNOWLEDGE OF THE ORGANISATION BASED AT THE CONSTRUCTION KNOWN AS HILLSBOROUGH
By whistling to a young groundsman I lured him beneath me at which I cut my cord and used him as a large cushion to break my fall. I stole his costume and scurried into the stand known as South.
I continued with my explorations and came to a large door. I felt as if I was in a trance as my hand calmly grasped the handle. As soon as it was open I became overwhelmed by the stench of stale gin. My legs carried me towards what was seemingly a meeting of great impotence. Many a spherical chap sat around a long dark oak table, oho, it brought back memories of my long dark oak table obsession of ’63.
The men around the table were having a heated argument. *Red napkins, I’d say”, “No green”, said another slamming his hairy fist onto the table. Then with a quick flash of inspired thinking, I suggested blue it being the clubs colours and all. A large cheer erupted from the room and I was immediately elected to the board and carried around the long dark oak table shoulder high.
I resolved to treat myself a visit to the pet shop.........
(In later editions he buys and befriends Cecile the Armadillo who provides valuable inside information of foreign players to be ‘got for a bargain’)